NBA Finals and Things

So its the Celtics and Lakers in the finals. Game 1 is tonight and Im pumped. Go fucking Celtics! It sucks I have to go someplace to watch it. That's one thing I miss about having my own place. I wish I had my television in my own living room. Someday, I suppose, I will have that again. Oh, and my own bathroom.

So I haven't posted on here in awhile. I find it hard to make daily posts or even weekly posts. I envy people who keep up on "blogging" about daily adventures or random shit.

News:
-I've been on about a month binge of drinking.
-I took the bus to the coast yesterday and realized it is definitely trip worthy across America.
-I fucking hate the weather in Portland and it affects my mood terribly.
-I want to be back on the East Coast.
-I guess I don't have to pay rent anymore.
-I think that means lots of money to go towards bus upgrades.
-And beer.
-I hate my job.
-But there's lots of beautiful women there.
-Too bad I don't talk to them.
-I miss the days of New York City and Japan.

On Laughable Times

So I got drunk last night. Nothing new. I had Corona and Tequila. Coronas suck but tequila is good. I came home and passed out, then woke up sometime during the night and for some reason decided to take a leak in my shoe. I realized my shoe doesn't hold liquid and finished pissing in a beer bottle. When I woke up this morning, I remembered what I did last night and had a good laugh.

Oh Dear

A Relapse to the Old Days

Being laid off after a week and a half of working has caused me to relapse back into my old routine. I wake up sometime between 1 and 2 in the afternoon. I smoke a lot of cigarettes while drinking like 8 cups of coffee. Around 3:30pm, I walk to the 7eleven, buy either a six pack or a bottle of wine, and drink the rest of the night away. I keep thinking Im bound for something good to enter my life. I feel like a dude who is in a dramatic movie. His days are monotonous, drinking and smoking consumes the entire day, then a beautiful girl enters his life who is completely in love with him and he completely in love with her, and she won't leave him due to worldly obligations such as money, or other socially created bullshit. One problem. He can't move on from a past relationship, which he thinks could be renewed.

Oh he's hopeless.

Big Storm on The Horizon

Back on The Job HUNT

So today I was informed I no longer have a job. My manager has been telling me that the person I am replacing will be coming back.. in April. Also, when she comes back, he'll find another position for me. She came back today. I got a big "that's it" from my boss, which I replied, "huh? what?"

What a fucking douche-bag. No "thanks" or anything, just "that's it." Who the fuck does that? I fill in for a week and a half to save his ass and to help the company and I get a "that's it." Fuck you. This is exactly why I don't want to work. Managers and companies are so fucking lame and inhuman its ridiculous. There's no care that I've been looking for a fucking job for a year and finally was able to land this shit job and get comfortable with it, just to be told "that's it." Go fuck yourself.

VW Woes

So today was my first day of work. It was decent. I got to work at three and started mopping immediately all the way until 6:30. After mopping the bakery on Fremont, which is a large place, I had to go to the bakery on Hawthorne and mop all over again. I was tired and cranky, but its good to get some exercise while working. I got off at 11 and just wanted to go home.

There was one problem.

The bus wouldn't start! Fuck! I called Kristen, one of my roommates, and she came and met me. The engine was turning over fine but it wouldn't fire up. I figured I must be out of gas (I can't tell because my gauge doesn't work). That was the easy fix anyways. She drove me to the gas station to fill up my 1 gallon jug and then we went back to the bus. I put the gallon in and after a few cranks the bus fired up. Hopefully that was the problem and there's no mechanical issues.

I don't have to work until next Wednesday, so I'll have time to sort it out. Plus, my reverse lights stopped working too and I still can't get the damn stereo to work.

Im no good with electrical problems.

A Job!

So I happened to wander far enough and I have landed a job. Its not pretty, but it'll do the trick for now. Its at Grand Central Bakery here in Portland. I will be on the maintenance crew cleaning a few days a week. Hopefully I'll be able to make enough *dough* to pay rent and maintain the good old VW Bus.

It was quite daunting walking in just to talk to the guy who will be hiring me. I always get anxious and this time was like any other. First question, right off the bat- "So, tell me about yourself." Tell you about myself? What is there to tell, really? Was I to say, "Yeah, I wandered out of New York a few months back and went to Alaska, wandered around Fairbanks for awhile and now I wandered down the west coast to good old Portland, Oregon (with no plans or really any money to speak of) and now I've wandered into your nice little bakery here and I'd like a job, but not really." No, no, no. I had to say, "Why yes sir, I would love to join your machine of cleaning." And, "I am a really hard worker and I will try my best here."

Man, I hate walking into strange work-zones and talking to a guy who has the ability to say "yes" or "no" on whether they will hire you. They just gaze you up and down and make judgments in their mind and look down upon you like you are the scum of the universe. Then, they go to church on sunday and tell themselves they are such a good person, maybe run a couple people off the road on the way and flip 'em the bird.

Note: I am writing in generalities here and am in no way interpreting my interview, or interviewer today.

Eh

So I am debating whether or not to upload my poetry and short stories onto the internet. I have this weird anxiousness about doing so. Maybe in the near future when I get enough energy to transcribe my journals (im old fashioned and use paper to write on) onto the net, they will appear here.

In other news, Im sick. The progression of this was weird. One day, I had a sore throat. The next day I had a cough. Now, the third day, I have a stuffy nose.

NOT cool.

Goodbye APC

So I finally decided to do it. I've sold my super sweet, most favorite jeans in the world. I bought them like a year ago while I was in Japan for like $160. I sold them yesterday for $100. Not bad of a turn around.

A Clear Day

Holy shit, its not raining today in Portland. What is this, like the fucking second or third day since I've been here that it's been clear out?

And since it's a decent day, I took to painting the front bumper of the bus. Of course, it didn't turn out right and looks like shit. It looks worse than it did before I painted it. What the fuck, something go right!

No Vince, nothing will go right for you. You are a loser. A good-for-nothing.

If it doesn't fit, it DOES NOT fit.

So yesterday I was to have a new windshield in my VW, or so I thought. The dude came mid-afternoon and came with the wrong size windshield.

He left.

He came back an hour later with one that still looked, to my eye anyway, a little too big still. He insisted the gasket and windshield size was correct. I said, OK. After three hours trying to get it in, he got pissed. He called his boss. His boss came.

Boss got pissed. They shattered the windshield. "See you, tomorrow," they said. Its tomorrow. There's no sign of these dudes.

Fucking retards.

Austrian Death Machine

Listen to Austrian Death Machine's new cd entitled "Double Brutal." It will fucking blow you away.

Inability to sleep

The past haunts me. Memories of times spent and people I was once close to creep into my mind and don't leave for entire nights. I try to drown them with alcohol, I try to commit murder of my memories, but this proves to be a futile (and costly) effort. I don't think the constant rainy weather of Portland helps me any. I feel more alone here among many than I did in Alaska among few. I was not judged there. I lived whatever way I felt was good for me, as I am doing here but with constant criticism. I eat what I like, I smoke cigarettes, and I drink. I have many dirty habits and I happen to enjoy most of them. Sorry, go live your "perfect life." Im living mine, I guess.

To be honest, Im lonely. In a city of thousands of people, Im constantly surrounded with other human beings, but no connections can be made. Missed connections occur often, as seen on Craigslist personals. Romantic tales of chance encounters that linger in the mind and happen in reality but never materialize into anything amazing. Well, I shouldn't say never because Im sure somebody out there has had a chance encounter and it turned out like the movies, but this is a dream in my world. On the train the other day I saw a most beautiful girl. She was different. Different is good. She was listening to her iPod, sitting straight in front of me faced in my direction. I thought, "this girl must be really cool," for some reason. I of course, looking like a young bum, must have been a drag to sit across from. Even if there was a slight interest on her part in me, nothing could come of it. I long for somebody else more than any of the girls in any city of the world. I also long for a good, genuine, close friend also. Too bad I left them on the East Coast and too bad one left this world. Its not my fault. Its the natural course of my life and it cannot be changed.

Oh the woes of being free.

And here's my bus. 1979 Volkswagen Transporter Type 2. What more is more debt when I can never pay it back? Try and catch me, United States Government. Im sure you will, in time. Until then..

"If i was crying
in the van
with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself
and from the land"

Rainy Portland

When will it ever stop raining here? Some days when its rainy, it doesn't bother me as much as other days. Today is one of those days when the rain just doesn't hit me right. It gives me a bad attitude.

So here I am

Again, I am trying this whole "blog" thing. I've tried numerous times which were unsuccessful due to me being lazy and not feeling like writing anything or really giving a shit. I will try to use this space to record everyday happenings as well as reflect on my journey from New York to Alaska to Portland during the past few months. Its been a tough road.

ANYWAYS

Greetings from Portland